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Monday, August 2, 2010

five people.

Objective: pick 5 people in your life. write something to them, but leave their name out of it. go.

1. You're who I'd like to call my best friend, and yet if you knew everything about me, you'd probably never speak to me again. So, who are we kidding? I wear a mask around you, and honestly, I don't mind. It's nice to step out of my skin for a while around you, when I have to be cautious of my movements and actions. We have such different views on life; what makes me happy would make you cringe, and vice-versa. And yet we have some of the best laughs together. I love you for that and your simplicity. You're so grounded, very realistic. Change terrifies you. We can go months without talking and when we meet again, it's like we never lost touch. I love that about you. I just wish you would love me if you knew me in my entirety.

2. In a few short months, we have become so close, and it's no wonder why. You're so intelligent...attractive, funny, good-natured. Talking to you is so easy, it's almost scary. We both have admitted how much we have in common, which is unusual for certain reasons. I enjoy time spent with you. My only qualm is that I could have more. One day, I will take you to coffee, and I know we will have an amazing conversation, like we always do. Thank you for being there when I've needed you.

3. It's so funny how much of an importance you were a few months ago. God, I would have done anything, pathetic anything, for you. You were my first love. And my first heartbreak. I regret nothing. I wouldn't trade our memories for the world. It's so funny...6 months ago, it felt like I was literally, at one point, not going to ever get out of bed. And now...I'm happy, functioning fully, probably even better than when I was with you. It wasn't that I missed you. It was that I missed a relationship. Honestly, I am not bitter. I know now it wouldn't have worked. I really do hope one day it isn't awkward for you to talk to me. I miss your friendship. I say this without jealousy, or bitterness; I really, honest to God, hope you are happy.

4. A part of me hates you. A part of me would kill to call you right now. And I hate myself for that. Being bitter makes it easier to deal with, I suppose. I knew who I was before you came along, or at least I thought I did. But in a way, thank you for making me realize I am not put together. I needed to not be in control for once in my life. I guess right now I just need time to cool off and get over the finger-pointing, not only at you, but at myself as well. Time heals all wounds, even this partially self-inflicted one. I just wish I could deal with it with as much grace as you are...

5. Truly, you are like a sister. I love when you come into this house. Seriously, everyone loves you in this family. Whether we're talking or playing games, you know exactly how to make me smile and laugh. I couldn't ask for a better sis. And I have a feeling, the memories and times spent together are only going to become more amazing :) Love you <3


  1. Was this a meme? If so, it was a good one. I just spent vacation visiting three friends that I haven't seen in sixteen years, another friend that I haven't seen in almost 25 years. We traveled from PA to New Jersey to Connecticut to Massachusetts. I recently reconnected with them on Facebook. It was amazing to visit people instead of sites.

  2. A meme? Never heard of that before, actually. My one friend recommended a few months ago if I feel like I can't talk to someone, to catalog it. It's amazing what I wrote 6 months ago that seemed so important at the time, but really isn't anymore.
    Your trip sounds amazing. I'm glad you had a good time. College has been such an experience in getting to know people. I have friends from all over the country. I'm hoping after I graduate, every few years I can travel to see them.