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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Oops, I did it again.

Apologies for the roughness... wrote this in a few mins and tweaked it....

Oops, I did it again.

Lights up on:

[Messy apartment; loft bedroom in medium-sized city, bustle of street outside the window. Clothes strewn haphazardly over the chair in the corner; two people, man and a woman lay in bed, both asleep] Queen - sized bed

[Woman stirs, groggy, clutches at head giving the impression she is hungover, doesn’t even look at man]

Woman – What time is it?

[Alarm Clock reads early afternoon]

Woman – Oh my God! How didn’t I hear my alarm? Shit… Rick is going to kill me. I am so fired, so fired…

[Lunges out of bed, causing the man to moan in sleep]

[Woman stifles scream]

Woman – Who the fuck are you?
[No response from the man other than snores; grabs her robe off the chair to cover herself (she’s in bra and underwear)]

Woman - Not again. I swore never again. I knew I shouldn’t have gone out with Tif last night. It’s always one more drink, one more drink with her. God forgive my sins; I’m so going to Hell. How at any point in my life was I Catholic? At least I don’t have to explain to my mother like last time.

[Lifts the covers to see the man’s face]

Woman - At least your cute…the last one was a bit lacking…

[Lifting the covers further to look underneath]

Woman - My God!

[crosses herself]

Woman - And well endowed… Of course I wouldn’t remember it. This is karma.

[Sighs, bites her lip]

Woman - But you gotta go. I have to get ready for work! I’m already twenty minutes late. Hello? You have to go… Tristan? No, that’s not right. Troy? Tanner? Does it even start with a T?

[Seeing his clothes, she starts rummaging through them]

Woman - Ah, drivers license. Perfect… Oh… Gregory Rantor. Hell, what did I drink last night? Greg! Gregggg! You gotta leave! I’ve already been late to work once this week; Rick will totally fire me.

[sees his unresponsive face] Woman - What did YOU drink last night?

[Leans over him, places fingers on neck: Checking for Pulse. Look of worry]

Woman - Thank God. That’s good, pulse is good.

[Looks at door, then back to bed: repeats]

Woman - You can’t stay here, Greg. Harley always says, “The bigger the dick, the bigger the prick.” I’m not leaving this apartment with you still here. I’ll come back and all of my shit will be gone.

[Goes to bed, kneels on side, pondering him.]


[Man begins to stir, his eyes fluttering, then opening slowly; he looks at her. She remains on the bed in kneeling position.] [He reaches out to her; she smiles, and begins to crawl under the blankets, her head disappearing.]

Woman – I know what you need. [Giggle] You just need some good morning…

[Man rolls over, throws up]

[From under the covers]

Woman - OUT!


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