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Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Doggie, Doggie!

I can’t imagine living in a house without at least one dog. How boring it would be! In the photo albums that pollute our home, there are numerous pictures of me clinging to a hairy beast about eight times my size, my pacifier dangling precariously from my lip, dangerously close to being dropped, upon which I probably would have just shoved the dootsie back in my mouth and thought nothing of the germs crawling all over the floor…or the dog hair. I shudder to think.

Even through all of the hair that they produce, I still love dogs. Granted, it does get old having to lint roll your clothes every five minutes, using an extra strength adhesive one to pull off the lingering hair…but I STILL love dogs.

When I went to college, my family owned three dogs, but two were getting up there in age; unfortunately in the last two years, the two older ones have passed, but Sidney, the youngest at only five years old, is my baby. My parents got him for me for a birthday present, which my mom would swear was the worst decision of her life, especially because of the fact he is Newfoundland and Collie mixed, which yields major hairball. But truly, he is the most intriguing dog I have owned; he weighs about ninety-five pounds yet still thinks he is a lapdog.

Once Newton passed away later in 2010, Sidney was left alone at home all day by himself. Although I was at college, I could picture his depression, wandering from room to room looking for a friend to play. My parents told me he was becoming quite depressed, and so, as any good parent would, they bought him a friend. My mom was absolutely furious at her decision of buying the tiny teddy-bear like creature that greeted me at the door when I came home from college one night. Although she wanted to kick herself, she will admit now that buying Rocky was a good decision, not only to cheer up Sidney, but also for her and my dad.

If you’ve never had a dog, you probably won’t understand my seemingly-like madness over the furry creatures, but if you have owned at least one at some point in your life, I’m sure you can grasp what I’m saying. Dogs aren’t pets; they’re a part of the family. I know when I was having a hard time going through a breakup, Sidney lay in bed with me for at least an hour, just lying there, letting me pet him. The phrase “stupid dog” is such bull, at least for the dogs I have had; they are far, far from being stupid, probably higher on the emotional intelligence scale than most people who go to college, from what I’ve seen so far.

My roommate and I up at Elizabethtown have both grown up with dogs, so our freshman year, we were really feeling the absence of a puppy in our tiny dorm room. Of course, sneaking a dog into your dorm is not the easiest thing to do, but we were not about to settle for not having some type of furry creature in our presence. Elizabethtown has a Saturday Market (which, if you ever have time, I would recommend going; you can find so many things for very cheap prices. Of course some of the stuff is junk, but there are some good finds), and one weekend my roommate and I along with a few friends went.

Fate lead us to the outside portion of the market, where we lay eyes on five tiny rabbits curled up in a ball so tightly, it was hard to distinguish where one rabbit ended and the other ones began. We could feel the pity creeping in for the tiny, helpless creatures that were housed in a cardboard box without any blanket.

DISCLAIMER: ** Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get a rabbit for a dorm room. There is a reason why the college tells you that you can only have non-carnivorous fishes. Although Jet (he was a pure black rabbit) was an adorable little thing when we got him, he didn’t stay tiny for long. And when we discovered that he liked to chew electrical cords (not by discovering him fried, thank God), my roommate and I both knew we had to get rid of him.

The idea of going back to college without a dog depresses me. As much as I’d love to steal Sidney for next year when I might be getting an apartment, I feel like my parents would somehow notice the lack of long black tumbleweeds rolling along the kitchen floor and the warm spot on the couch where he “knows he’s not allowed to lay”. Good dog.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Good dog.

He gets home. He leaves. He gets home. He sleeps. He gets home. He looks at me like "what the hell do you want?"

God, if only I could speak English. What do you think I want?! Attention! Give me some good, full-hearted attention like you give that brunette chick that's always over at your house!
All of those people out there who say, 'oh, if only I had the life of a dog' should be smacked. Hard. Not that I'm tooting my own horn here or anything, but I have to admit, I am a pretty cute pup; blonde hair, thin build, and a face that just screams to be kissed and loved. I've only been living with this guy for a few months, but I've already got a list of complaints.

Complaint Number One: Turn on your heat! What month do you think it is, June?! I mean, I know I'm a dog and everything, and you might look at me and say, 'ahh, you've got hair, you'll be warm.' Yeah, maybe if you set it at a reasonable temperature. That one day, it got down to 55 degrees in here; do you know how cold that is?! And you can't even leave on the fireplace heater for me while you're at work. Cheap bastard. When you do have the fireplace on for me, you comment on how cute it is that I sleep curled up in a ball, my wet nose only fractions of an inch from the glass that separates me and those fake logs. I mean, I guess if you think me literally freezing my tail off is precious, then fine, but you have issues. If only I had thumbs to dial 911 to report you to the proper authorities for a psychotic episode or something.

Complaint Number Two: My toys. Come on, how old am I? 21! and what do you buy me? A green squeeky toy. You know, the sick thing is, you and that girlfriend of yours get more of a kick out of it than I do. "Ha ha! It's so funny, the squeeky toy is under the rug and OH MY GOD, it SQUEEKS!" What a concept! And you people are the top of the food chain?

Complaint Number Three: My food. Going back to the whole cheap bastard thing, for all of you people out there, Old Roy is only cheap because it is disgusting. Yeah, you think I'm a dog, oh, I'll eat anything. Mmmm, not happening. So, remember that time you bought me that new food and I got so excited because I actually thought it might be decent, as in not containing chicken beaks? Then you pulled it out of the grocery bag, and if only my head were a little higher, I would have full on nailed you in the crotch; you did buy new food, but more OLD ROY. Come onnnnn, cut me some slack. So, in protest, I didn't eat. I mean, to your knowledge I didn't, but I've become quite skilled at picking things out of the garbage without disturbing them. You would come home from work for the next week, look at me, and ask me if I were ok, why wasn't I eating? And you would even say to that broad of yours that I hadn't been eating and she would say, Oh, she probably doesn't like her food: BINGO, buddy! For once, this chick right about something!

Revenge will be mine. You wait. New pair of Armani loafers: in my mouth, all slobbered up. That Christmas gift she got you: oops, my tail knocked it over! Shattering glass.

Oh, p.s- that Tempurpedic bed: really comfy when you're not looking.